Witt's End

The last couple days it’s been sad music. It’s just one of those things that comes with the territory. I’m finally hitting that phase of the grief. My grandfather died last week. And it’s hitting me harder than I thought it would. And not that there is a memorial in two weeks it’s really sinking in. Hence my melancholy response and the seeking of appropriately emotionally fulfilling music. For many people that would seem an appropriate response when losing a grandfather. For me I’m struggling to know how exactly I feel. See I never met my grandfather until about four years ago. Just prior to that, I was unaware that he even existed. I’ll just say that DNA tests for family history can reveal new things. Since that time I’ve been able to visit him and properly meet him once, and I’ve had a throughly typical modern experience of intermittent phone calls and text messages. At times I was much more connected and responsive than others. And I needed it. He was there. A listening ear when I s

I'm scrambling with thoughts overrunning my attempts to type as I try to write it all out. I've been staring at a lot of conversation and criticism that I can't fully understand.  Why does who someone loves or is attracted to matter so much? Why is it so threatening? Who someone decides to be with shouldn't effect others that damn much.  Just thinking about this is getting me oddly emotional. Intimacy is more than romance. And romance is so much more than sex. Therefore intimacy is so much more than sex. And we miss that.  When people talk about the person they want to be in a relationship with they want to be, who they want to be with, they think of a lot of things. They think about the journey of life and who they want to let in to see it all. Now that sharing is the real secret. It's the genuine intimacy. It's so much more than sex and lust. It's the little things that are truly intimate. It's looking at someone and feeling safe, being able to share y