Witt's End

Often public service requires actions that require compromise with our values. Actions that are at odds with faith and practice. That can cause long-term emotional stress and cognitive challenges. This can include a lot of things. Shame at perpetration. Guilt at surviving. Anger at being on the sidelines. A loss of trust in oneself. All of the above are signs of moral injury.  Some of you are wondering the hell am I talking about? What's moral injury? Some call it a soul wound, but that doesn't really explain it does it. So I'll turn to a couple definitions to lay the ground work.  First from the VA's National Center for PTSD , " In traumatic or unusually stressful circumstances, people may perpetrate, fail to prevent, or witness events that contradict deeply held moral beliefs and expectations." And a similar definition from Syracuse University's Moral Injury Project , " Moral injury is the damage done to one’s conscience or moral compass  when that...

 What has become Christian theology has always been debated. It was hashed out and formed over years of treatise writing and attempts at rhetorical persuasion that led to the creeds and interpretations we have today.  To think there is one simple all encompassing and easily understood theology that answers all problems and questions is the height of hubris. We lean into interpretation and understanding informed by our experiences and overall understanding. Early theologians and church fathers are amazing examples of this. We have regional variances. We have philosophical differences (Plato, the stoics, and the cynics were all often competing influences). And we have strongly various represented priorities. How did the ancient church handle this? Debates. Then a vote. Then a declaration of what was doctrine and what was heresy. It still happens today.  And it's not new. The debates over what we call Christian or not wouldn't surprise the early church fathers, the wouldn't ...

This is my feeble (if long-winded) attempt at bridge building and understanding. I started this piece weeks ago. I shelved it after the Charlie Kirk assassination. I picked it back up after President Nelson passed and then had a night where I could stop writing here and elsewhere following the shooting and arson of the chapel in Grand Blanc. I'd be lying if this was easy to commit to paper. But I have to. Rarely have I felt this level of compulsion to write. To share what I have to say.  Let me try. Here's a start. My faith is not what it once was. Surety has been replaced by hope. Which probably isn't a bad thing. The focus is more on fundamentals of belief and the actions they bring.  I have absolutely struggled with the theology, doctrines, practices, policies, and culture surrounding the faith of my youth. I'm open and honest about that. But I worry that's not always returned. The honest assessment that we all struggle with the teachings and guidance of such a l...

Spoken word is strange. Without a way to catch it, record it, what happens? It disappears. Forever.  Airwaves and vibrations dissipating as quickly as they appear.  For centuries, millennia we only had one way to record thoughts. Words. Language. We had to write it down.  We say we can hear the voice of those long past. But we can't. As much as I love the written word it misses so much. Inflection and tone. Breath. Accent. Vowels and consonants.  If only we could have a way to lift that from the written pages of yore. To hear their voice.  The closest is probably music right. Staff paper, notes and lyrics. Maybe that's what's makes it so magical.  I don't know.  I just wonder. What the voices of the past really sounded like. And how we can be sure.  To catch the fleeting thing. The thoughts, the feelings, the moments.  --- There's a reason Shakespeare has had more staying power in the public conscious than Thomas Wyatt or Edmund Spenser. Chri...

Too often us humans tell ourselves that religious participation will solve all of our problems. That all of the resources we need are in one place. But are they? Is church truly the place that fix all of our temporal and physical needs as well as the spiritual? Does it have the resources required to do so. I'm not sure.  This may be the ultimate expression of "I need prayer and my medication" I've ever written. Because I am seeing more and more how different aspects of my life need different helps and attention.  There was a time where I tied my mental health to my spirituality. But that has changed. Mostly through experience. Now I view them separately but impacted by each other. Both because I've needed to address my mental health. And because I channeled it into a career.  I love my current role in my career. I'm passionate about it. Being able to help people on recovery is a massive aid to my own recovery. I love being able to have access to literature and...