I believe in being earnest

I believe in being earnest. More and more with time. I know I still have a sarcasm gene that I need to address, I can't deny that; but I feel a growing compulsion toward sincerity. This need to stand behind what I do, and what I say. To be true to the emotions and feelings I hold. Through it all I think there's a level of humility and integrity that can only come from being earnest.

The world needs kindness, hope, and connection. And I truly have come to believe that we need earnestness to accomplish that. We need some sincerity and some seriousness. In everything we do. But especially in how we express ourselves.

I try to say what I mean. In speech and by pen. Express it honestly. Always. The sincerity of what I try to write leads to scrupulousness. I’m very serious in my writing. To a fault. And because of that I take things to heart. Maybe too much.I don't know how well that's served me. 

I've written in the past about the accusations of being softhearted, of being beholden to "toxic" empathy. I think part of that stems here. I have found a need to be more open and more vulnerable. How can we ask anyone to be vulnerable if we won’t take them seriously? There needs to be humility and honesty in these interactions. Sincerity and earnestness are key. I would argue that earnestness is essential to connection because of this. 

And that’s what we need. Or at least what I think we need more of. 

I truly believe that if we were sincere in more of our interactions, we would be better off. Care in our speech and actions benefits us all.

I worry about harming people. That can be mitigated by how seriously I take my interactions. How earnest I am in my life. That's important to me. And I haven't always lived up to my part. But I try. I've lived my life in ways where I've put my money where my mouth is, mission, military, public service. In large part I've done this to focus on the aspects of my life that bring me the most meaning. In doing so I get to live my life with sincerity. That brings purpose. And I'm thankful for that. I am able to feel and see that my work and my life matter.

That earnestness allows me to fight more for things than spending my time tearing things down. I'm fighting for not fighting against. That outlook matters. It allows me to be invested in all things I do.

I believe my speech should reflect that.

The more a conversation is about things of consequence the more sincere our discussions need to be. The more harm that can be caused the more we should be careful in our speech.

That's why for me online interactions are hard. Laughing emojis and trolling don't make sense to me.  There's a sense of flippancy backed by insincerity that I can't wrap my mind around. What's the point of having an entirely unserious conversation in a public forum about serious topics? The flippant nature of memes and jokes leads to normalization of cruel and harmful behaviors. There seems to be badge of honor for being "unbothered." I wonder where that will lead us. Will we take anything seriously? Will we care? Will we support someone who stands for what they absolutely believe in? Or will someone earnestly striving for things be considered a pariah.

I wonder. 

In discussions and thought exercises such as this I find myself finding that to me faith is and was deadly serious. It's the epitome of earnestness right.

I've had a chance to read a book that's changed how I examine some of these things. It focused a lot on the pathos and piousness of the prophets in scripture. The raw nature of their emotions and the absolute sincerity and earnestness of their mission. It made me realize that scripture is sincere, regardless of it's source, and that it's in that sincerity that it holds it power. We have to believe and take seriously the values and messages that matter to us most. And in the darkest of times, the largest struggles of times, that's what brings us to hope.

Earnestness is an essential ingredient of hope. Even if it's just a flicker. There's a sincere desire that drives us. A desperation that drives us toward that hope. The idea that things could always be better. A rawness and vulnerability. And it's a spectacular thing.

I think we can see this hope and vulnerability in one place other than faith just as much. Creation and expression. Art in all of it's forms. Earnestness is tied to passion. Passion drives art. We can tell when someone believes in what they're doing. A dancer that commits. A poet leaving it all on the page. A musician enthralled in the dynamics and expression of their performance. Commitment is equivalent to earnestness. I've always felt that the best art is when you absolutely commit to the performance or when you dismiss it all.

Now earnestness is not always serious. I think there is place, time and purpose for humor. And the best humor is earnest too. There's a grain of truth in every joke. Most people believe that. So the best humor examines that truth. Holds to it. Uses it to elevate or alleviate tension. Strives to accentuate absurdity of moments. Owns a narrative through proper deprecation of self. And like everything else we are all better for it. There's an importance to being earnest in all things. Being real matters. Being sincere. And the vulnerability that comes from that is desperately needed in the increasing online and performative nature of all of our interactions. It's good to care. It's good to express our emotions. It's good to stand for what we believe in. To fight for not against. To know things matter. All of that is good, as we live life earnestly.