My epiphany: I need to judge less

This may be the last religious post in a little while, maybe not. We'll see.

I've had some reflecting myself to do with this one. Big time. But that's a good thing I think.

The hardest thing to judge is someone's spirituality or religiosity. There are some observable factors of devotion can be apparent from the outside but the majority of worship is too innately personal to be visible. I think the more sacred something is to a person, the more private it becomes.

I've had to really take this to heart. For two main reasons, one, I've had a couple epiphanies. Two, I'm in need of real change. The first epiphany I had is that differences in practice and doctrine do not mean a lack of devotion. The second is that change can be too subtle measure.

I think doctrinal differences can be a source of admiration, envy, and conflict. I'll admit that this is one place where I fall short. It's a source of friction and misunderstanding that leads to judgement. There are differences in practice that lead me to holy envy, a cross on Ash Wednesday, a call to prayer, a yarmulke, a so much more. But there are also doctrines that seem antithetical to my beliefs, faith, and understanding. The idea of prosperity gospel, heavens closed, and others are hard for me to swallow. What's been even harder is reconciling the fact that one's faith is not they're only defining feature.

For me my faith is a defining part of who I am. It's intrinsic but there is so much more to me. When I view friends and strangers with the knowledge of their religion I seem to sometimes lose that perspective. I seem to focus so much on the beliefs I think they hold I miss the person. I'm always talking about the strength diversity of belief brings and I'm missing the boat, I'm missing the people.

I need to take advice from Gordon B. Hinckley, "Each of us [from various religious denominations] believes in the fatherhood of God, although we may differ in our interpretations of Him. Each of us is part of a great family, the human family, sons and daughters of God, and therefore brothers and sisters We must work harder to build mutual respect, an attitude of forbearance, with tolerance one for another regardless of the doctrines and philosophies which we may espouse."

I think it's time for ME to focus on the similarities of the human family and not the divisions. Focus on the goodness I see and get to know the people more. That focus on the goodness brings me to the next epiphany I had. What someone holds dear should be praised. The only exception is when it begins to harm others. I've never witnessed that in my day to day life. So i need to treat other's beliefs (or lack of them) with the same reverence I treat my own. It's the only way to be on the path to mutual respect. I think if I can find ways to put myself out there, I'll gain understanding and maybe more respect for myself. I think it's one thing I can really put into practice in my day to day life.

Before I really dive into my second epiphany, I would like to step to the side briefly and discuss something else. Why we worship. Let's take a second to remember the purpose of religion, especially a gathering like a church. I think the best way to describe that purpose is to look at the idea of a church as a hospital ward. That metaphor has been expressed many times because it is spot on. Think a second, church is the place where healing can occur and that can lead to additional growth and development. It's a place of hope, spiritual support, and clerical leadership. I think anyone sincerely going to a place of worship to seek that belonging, and express their faith should be applauded. Some may superficially seem to belong more, some may look out of place. But they are at a place to grow and change. Which sets the stage for the epiphany I had.

Change is hard to observe. And because it's hard to see, any sin or failing looms huge, and we all look like complete hypocrites. That's not a way to look at other people. We all should realize that making mistakes doesn't make you a hypocrite, it makes you human. So when we someone we know who proclaims a particular faith falling short of that faith, cut them some slack. Like the obese person in the gym we need to be supportive of each step taken in the right direction. Even if we don't see it.

Now as a continuation to the idea of church. When someone falls very short in an observable manner it can be easy to brand them with a scarlet letter. The smell of drugs maybe, or knowledge of an affair, someone who curses, very immodest clothing at church. All blatant signs of difference or even sin. If someone struggles and makes the same mistakes multiple times we judge them. But what if every sin in the room was equally noticeable. What if we changed colors or had a specific smell for specific sins. I can't take credit for this idea but thinking about it has changed me. If my failings and all of our failings were obvious it would be a more level playing field. If we knew everyone's lies, thoughts, private addictions, and struggles. Maybe we would notice that we aren't changing anymore quickly on our private issues (or perhaps even more slowly) than the public sins.

I can't judge. It's not my place. I needed a wake-up call for that. I think I got it this week. This is some reflection and accountability on that. I need to get to know people. Not put up walls over perceived differences. Not cut out the struggling from my aid. Or cut off others from rendering me aid.

I've been truly hard in my mind and sometimes in person over religious breaks, a people's histories, especially as it bleeds into a political field. I need to change that. Policy and doctrine are in and of themselves just ideology. They are bigger than the people who take pieces into themselves. Just as I have with mine. I have a feeling more contention is coming. More harsh words in the near future on a march to November's elections. I need to be ready for it. By changing. By eliminating the contempt from my life. That change could take a while to notice. Hopefully it makes a discernible difference for those I come into contact with. That's what I'm working and praying for this season.

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