Help or Selfish

What’s our first reaction when someone we love is hurting? Do we support them through the trial/pain or try to take it away? I’m the latter. And it isn’t always what’s needed. 

The first reaction I have is solving the problem, giving someone a solution. I’m not the greatest at letting someone vent, I’m not the best at giving space. I smother. I know I do. Because I care. 

I know how to listen. I know how to care. I know how to be there. But I often get selfishly wrapped up in myself, and try to be the saving grace. I try to solve it. And that’s probably my ego talking. 

Lately personal experience has forced a new perspective. 

We get sick. We have bad things happen. And nothing can change it. 

Knowing that, sometimes we just need to talk our way through; or sit in silence. 

I've needed that more and more since I've gotten sick. 

But it's a new realization that sits against what I learned and did most of my life before this point. 

Now sometimes I feel helpless to the point that I want to help someone else. The idea that serving others will bring us peace and comfort. 

I learned that my whole life. And combined with constantly being told to be busy led to us feeling that we had to be in action to be of service. 

But upon reflection. That's not always what someone needs.

More often it's just someone there. It's just someone willing to pick up the phone. It's the access, the care. 

I need to do better at that. Especially for those who matter most to me in my life.

Slowing down. Asking if I'm helping them, or myself. Then acting.