Insomnia is a *****

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Some nights it’s almost a panic. An absolute discomfort to close my eyes.


It’s not usually on nights when I’m overly stressed. It doesn’t matter how much exercise I had. But there’s often a mild headache.


It’s just a pounding when I close my eyes. Flashes of images I hate are right there. Heart starts taxing me. Breaths get faster. Pounding is felt. Chest gets tight.


Open the eyes and it disappears. 


So I read and write those nights. Quietly. Almost compulsively. 


Running from the feelings beyond my control.


One or two nights a week there’s no sleep at all. Most of the time it’s barely into the next morning I’ll be tired enough the eyelids get heavy enough to close themselves. For four-five and half hours I’ll toss and turn until I’m awake. And my day starts again.


Insomnia. It’s a bitch. 


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