Something to stand for, instead of against

 

Some of my favorite people are now on the opposite side of the political aisle from me. Hell I’d argue we’re on opposite sides of the spectrum itself at this point. But I love them. And I’m trying to figure out how to navigate this time without alienating them (any more than what has already occurred). How do I stand for what I believe in? How do I be a perceived light without burning it all down?

I think I found my path through this. 

I am striving for things instead of just opposing things. And that mindset shift has been incredible.

I didn’t do what I’ve done in my life to feel lost. It’s time to stand for things again. I believe in things. That should be the priority and take my time more than things I don’t believe in. 

It's been an enlightening and emboldening. And it’s lead to three or so realizations. 

First discussions and debates can only be had with people who are willing to participate in good faith who agree on essential facts. And personally I’m only advocating for positions at this time. I’m limiting what I tear down. That includes not running to debunk everything I can. It’s more important for my sanity to focus on what I can share, explain, and discuss. I’ve lived a varied life and do a lot of research and living. I can combine the anecdotal with the data on the positions I care most about. That’s what I can bring to discussions. And it is enough. 

Second. Personal attacks will do nothing to move the needle. All it does is raise temperature. It doesn’t matter if the attacks are about who someone supports or about themselves. Character attacks just cause added strife and contention. 

Three. Policy discussions are boring. But the only way to stay civil and we lost that. Also you find places and ways to compromise more easily when we focus on positive policy we want to implement. 

All of these leave space to disagree. And we need so much more of that lost art. For various reasons. 

Now the temperature is way up. Way way up. People are saying we need extreme measures to match. I just want to cool it down. Be as rational and understanding as possible.

Now that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the need to advocate for various positions. Because I do. Strongly. And will get even more specific moving forward. Because things I feel strongly to advocate for are under attack.

This election cycle I’m voting for reproductive freedom and privacy in health care. I’m voting to protect the alliance that is NATO. I’m voting for immigrant rights. I’m voting to maintain the status quo and hopefully bring about more equality for LGBTQ+ individuals. I’m voting for veteran care and services.  I’m voting to protect service members’ and their families’ benefits. I’m voting to maintain healthcare and rights for the poorest and most indigent among us, especially the homeless. I’m voting to hopefully extend our greatly taxed mental health services. I’m voting for voting rights and election access for more of us citizens of this great country. I’m voting for proper environmental stewardship of the lands I love that have given me and my family so much. 

That means I’m looking for candidates that support my views and my priorities. Which is hard. And requires compromises on my part. It means I’m looking at legislative proposals and court cases and speaking up about what direction current and future legislation should take.

Hopefully I don’t alienate every one I care about. But I can’t stay silent about where I am either. The stakes are high to people I care deeply about. I have to be more honest about who I am. Those two things will hopefully not torpedo relationships. Hopefully I can temper how I express my beliefs without obscuring them to maintain contact.

I don’t know if I can. But mindset shifts make the possibility a little bit closer to reality.