Saying everything and nothing all at once

 Saying everything and nothing all at once. Especially when it’s harmful. 

There’s something so toxic about how over-encompassing a term like Same Sex Attraction is. It’s a blanket term that tells the average person nothing, but to a portion of a singular religious community says everything. 

Now in any other context outside of my religious tradition, just the term of same sex attraction seems to be met with an emotion somewhere in the range of confusion to derision. It’s either not understood or it is mocked. Why?

Because for the rest of the people outside of an insulated bubble there are other terms used.

I think same sex attraction was chose to thread the needle between derogatory terms and affirmation while not quite aligning with either wholeheartedly. And because of that it’s confusing. And an attempt to soften a blow just causes pain.

If you’re in affirming and accepting spaces then people are considered queer, gay, lesbian, bi, pan. There’s a specificity. It’s less of an adjective and more of a noun. Not an experience but a being. It’s a statement about who one is not what they’re doing. Yes there is overlap. But the focus is on identity. 

Compare that to derogatory language. I won’t list the slurs here but they’re the nouns I’ve heard slung around most often. But they’re not the most common. No the most common are adjectives that try to focus on thoughts and behaviors as abnormal at best and abominable at worst.

That’s why the term of same sex attraction is harmful. Toxic. I think many who use it have intentions that are positive. But I think it shows a level of detachment from those who have the actual lived experience on the topic. Because that’s what it sounds like, a descriptive experience at best and a diagnosis at worst.

I’ve written in the past about my mental health struggles. I’ve also discussed the fact that I identify as bisexual. One of those negatively impacts my life on a regular basis. The other is just a part of me at this point.

That sentiment seems to fall on deaf ears. There isn’t a desire to know any specificity. There’s a desire to keep things at arms length. And the more clinical something is the easier it is to keep it away from you. To say everything and nothing all at once.

There’s a gulf in our faith. In our communities within it. The idea that we hate the sin and love the sinner has kept us from getting to know people for who they are. Meeting them where they are. 

There are specificities and identifiers to experiences. Markers that people would want to share. And we often stifle that. 

We can stop that. We can learn. We can listen. We can grow.

Christ sat with everyone. He loved everyone. Cared for everyone. I’m thankful for that. I aspire to that.

I worry using terms like same sex attraction is hindering that. I hope we do better.