Gratitude

-

It's been a stressful time for many. I've been feeling that. And it's made the annual ritual of finding and expressing gratitude difficult for me. But I felt like I needed to give it an honest go. 

Family, music, art, the landscapes I call home, our two cats, and my wife (so family again).

I'm not as bad off as I think sometimes. And that's something.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How can we have shared the same faith with such different results?

-
Image
The majority of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints just voted for Donald Trump for President of the United States, again.  I’m not surprised but I am pretty confused. Again. Especially because their faith and the stances of the church are not always in line with Donald Trump’s. I’m giving the benefit of the doubt because we all have to compromise on policy. I just hope that regardless of who we voted for we can agree to support some of the specific policies the church endorsed that he does not. So I  have a few questions and examples here: First thing I would ask. How does Trump's policies align at all with the church's stances on immigration? Will you support the DACA recipients that are now under attack? What about his proposed mass deportations? His reductions of refugees? When Trump was serving his first term as president he opposed the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program (DACA). He reduced refugee admissions and legal immigration. ...
Read more

Sleepless nights can be for praying

-
Image
 Dear God, What are we going to do? I fret. I worry. I toss and turn. I can't lose the sleep that I'm not having. It's a forgone conclusion.  So I'm just talking. Without thinking. Letting these thoughts race.  There are too many suffering. Too many worrying. So much more than me. I have been given much alongside my trials, my tribulations, my sorrows. I can't ever lose sight of that. But tonight. These days. I struggle to go to work without shaking. I struggle to concentrate. And I don't think I'm alone.  I may be considered a snowflake for this. A bleeding heart. That's just who I am. I care.  I know these prayers are usually private. That's the way I was raised. And in my streams of consciousness that's usually how it goes. But right not my heart is breaking. And words on a page makes the most sense to me. Is cathartic. Necessary for me. What can I do? Other than shouting in the void. Other than the limited work I keep doing day after day.  It...
Read more

Shame and inadequacy

-
Image
The shame of incapacity. It’s real. And I’m struggling with it.  I feel like I’m in a pretty good place. But so often it comes in.  For a long long time I just assumed shame was a synonym for guilt. Part of it. That shame was your fault.  I'm not 100% sure where that take came from. I have some ideas that we can explore later. But I think we have to examine shame in and of itself. Over time I've come to relate shame to inadequacy. The inability to accomplish something. That maybe the inability to do the right thing, having done the wrong thing. That's why it's so often accompanied by guilt.  It's all about the idea that you're not enough. And one way of not being enough is not fitting in.  Shame can be wielded that way. It can be weaponized. The idea of not belonging swung like a cudgel. Whether it’s intentional or not. Whats weird is what we think is the greatest shame for a person is often wrong. What shames them may surprise you. For me the greatest shame has...
Read more