Some things hit us harder
Something hit me harder than I would have anticipated today. Someone on my social media lost a relative to suicide. Just reading their emotion had my heart sink. It was a lot stronger of a reaction than I would have anticipated. I hope it's always that way. I hope suicides continue to hit me hard.
At a time where we're having almost record suicides, widely publicized mass shootings, and overall noise it's easy to become desensitized to what's going on around us. To the how people really are doing. To who we know who is or might be struggling.
I'm so far from perfect at this. I get so easily desensitized lately. I've been working hospice and rehab as a nurse aide. I see grief, I see struggles, I see even death almost daily. It becomes routine. At time it has to. When you lose a patient you care about it hurts, but you have to turn around and prep their body, console their family, and get the next call light. Time doesn't stop for you. So for me I just find a way to keep moving. At times stop feeling. I don't know if it's the right answer.
I've lost a few people close to me to suicide. It's hit me like a two ton hammer right to the heart. I've watched friends I know struggle with their mental health. I know those feelings just as well as I can push them aside.
I think we all feel this way at times. I just hope we feel more than we push aside. That we realize we're all human. We're all connected. Maybe if we felt each other's pain a little more, or at least recognized it we'd all be better off.
I'm a religious man. One who believes this life is partially to become more like the man who experienced all of our pains and weaknesses and sins to know how to better help us. I think the only way to do that is to try to understand what other people are going through. Maybe that starts with understanding our own emotions.
That's why I always want this to hurt a bit from now on. Every suicide should hurt. I hope I don't forget that again. It's not an abstract thing. It's a real immediate thing that effects real people. Everytime.
At a time where we're having almost record suicides, widely publicized mass shootings, and overall noise it's easy to become desensitized to what's going on around us. To the how people really are doing. To who we know who is or might be struggling.
I'm so far from perfect at this. I get so easily desensitized lately. I've been working hospice and rehab as a nurse aide. I see grief, I see struggles, I see even death almost daily. It becomes routine. At time it has to. When you lose a patient you care about it hurts, but you have to turn around and prep their body, console their family, and get the next call light. Time doesn't stop for you. So for me I just find a way to keep moving. At times stop feeling. I don't know if it's the right answer.
I've lost a few people close to me to suicide. It's hit me like a two ton hammer right to the heart. I've watched friends I know struggle with their mental health. I know those feelings just as well as I can push them aside.
I think we all feel this way at times. I just hope we feel more than we push aside. That we realize we're all human. We're all connected. Maybe if we felt each other's pain a little more, or at least recognized it we'd all be better off.
I'm a religious man. One who believes this life is partially to become more like the man who experienced all of our pains and weaknesses and sins to know how to better help us. I think the only way to do that is to try to understand what other people are going through. Maybe that starts with understanding our own emotions.
That's why I always want this to hurt a bit from now on. Every suicide should hurt. I hope I don't forget that again. It's not an abstract thing. It's a real immediate thing that effects real people. Everytime.
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