Inward vs Outward

It's interesting how some topics worm their way into your mind. It's also interesting how some topics seem to addressed by multiple people at the same time you focus on something, or maybe we're just more attuned to others talking about it at that time. I've been looking through some old journals of mine, and listening to some discussions about this topic. Self care. What does that mean? What is it's purpose? I mean that sincerely especially in a spiritual or religious context. Some have stated that it’s self indulgence, or in opposite fashion a call to service. I think the real answer lies somewhere in the middle. I think we could often replace the term self care with the synonym of self reflection. That repentance is an essential part of the real paradigm of self care. That the atonement of Jesus Christ is the mechanism of true self care.

In this life we will face sin, pain, affliction, weakness, illness, and infirmity. That is not only an essential part of this mortal life but it's primary purpose. To experience and grow from these trials. Each of these takes specific actions on our part. Some take more work than others. Let’s start with the one that arguably takes the most effort.

Sin. It's a word we seem to often avoid in modern society. In a time of differing morals, religions, and creeds we try to avoid condemning the actions of others. That's understandable. But we all know when we knowingly fall short of our independent and universal ethics and morals. We all know when we do something we truly shouldn't and purposely harm others in some way. Those actions require correction, restitution, and hopefully through that process change. That's the essence of repentance. It's an absolute process. Trying to be better. To quote a friend, "repent, repent, repent until you become.” None of this is possible without Christ. Without his sacrifice and his atonement. That promise to push off a natural man and become something more. Something better than we could be on our own.

Now earlier I mentioned a much longer list of trials and tribulations we'll face in life. It's a paraphrase of a list from my favorite scriptures in The Book of Mormon. In the Book of Alma 7:11-13 we learn about the utter span of the atonement and it's power. The power of change. Beyond just weeding the garden, but pruning and watering the plants as well. The literal Son of God is the light that makes this possible.

Now the interesting thing about this is all of this requires true individual action. Healing, changing, all of the above all require the shift from passive or potential to actualized energy and purpose. It requires us to put faith into actual doing. Often that action leads us to help others. Earlier I mentioned that some people teach that self care requires an outward focus, something that leads us to serve others. That's a noble ideal to view self care in. That service to others is service to self. Taken further, that service to others is service to God. All of that is true and I'm not disputing it. But if you'll indulge a few words on a blog I want to discuss something that turns that desire a little more inward.

When I was a missionary in Michigan we had the opportunity to speak with Elder David A Bednar of the quorum of the twelve, a man I know to be of great spiritual stature and wisdom. He was having a Q&A with a fairly large group of young, eager missionaries. The subjects were fairly varied but a couple themes emerged. One was the general work of preaching and sharing the gospel as missionaries, the other was how to listen to and receive revelation and the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Even the second major topic was involved with teaching. As Elder Bednar asked for input on how we were to know for certain we were feeling the spirit, the answers were all along the theme of helping and serving others. People spoke of sharing the joy of the gospel with others. Then there was me. I remember being asked the question and quaking a little in the knees because my thoughts were different. What happened next as I addressed this man and he responded to me has been indelibly printed on my brain. I said (paraphrasing a bit here) that when I felt those promptings I turned inward and looked about what I needed to do to be better. He asked if he could put me on the hot seat for a second and then proceeded to say that what I said was the opposite of what everyone else was saying. But it wasn't wrong. That we all must look inward and ask “Lord is it I?" Or “Lord what lack I yet?" Referencing Peter and the Rich Man in the New Testament. Elder Bednar told me and the audience that when we felt that need to look inward we were on the right track as well.

I've taken that to heart and to me healing, reflection, repentance are the epitome of self care. That may require us to step away from it all to quiet our mind, lead us to service, or it may require a seeking active help for our healing. There isn't a specific universal recipe for self care. There isn't some silver bullet for stepping away from sin and temptation,  for healing and growth. We all have to find our way and that personal reflection and desire to be better is the most essential thing we can do in this life to bless those around us. The more whole we become, the better suited we are for those relationships that matter most to us.

I often fall short of this. That's why I've been reflecting on it so much I think. But you know what, I’ll be there one of these days. Hopefully sooner rather than later. 

Here's the scriptures referenced earlier.

Alma 7:11-13 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/alma/7?lang=eng

Matthew 19:20 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/alma/7?lang=eng

Matthew 26:22 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/matt/26?lang=eng