Witt's End

I’m going to address some tough subjects today. And I’m going to use anatomically correct language. If that’s too much I understand if this post isn’t for everyone. But I hope you give it a try. I really feel like this is an important thing. I've written about it before but it's time to be a little more pointed and direct.  So to set the first expectation, let's look at our civics and specifically our branches of government and their roles. A legislature defines the language of the statute and the laws themselves. Executives enact and enforce the laws. Courts answer specific questions and cases about the law in relation to other laws and precedent. That’s the system. Federally and at the state level.  I bring this up because in our state houses of legislation things are happening. We need to look at what's being brought forward on the floor and what's informing the rationale behind in.  Looking here at home the Washington state GOP adopted a platform with this  pos

“  You can’t call yourself a man of peace unless you’re capable of great violence. Otherwise you’re harmless.” I’ve seen countless variations of this theme. And I’ve come to realize in the modern era those words carry less weight. The physical threshold of who can commit great bodily harm to people has not been lower.  Extreme amounts of violence can caused by properly placed fertilizer and a detonator. A keystroke can shutdown massive infrastructure, All you need is a the ability to hold and aim a firearm with a working trigger finger to kill someone. It’s a far cry from the decades of training and conditioning it used to take to be a warrior. I mean it’s why armies transitioned to firearms. It made it easier to conscript more into service with shorter periods of training. Now I don’t say this to diminish what happens when someone truly trains to operate as a professional warfighter in today’s battlefield. The lowered threshold to entry makes those who properly train that much more ef

 People are messy. People have always been messy. A lot of historical figures we look to benefit us in one aspect of their lives and are tragically failing at the next.  Artists that have inspired us often do not live up to their ideals or their work in their personal lives.  People in our lives who love us, treat us well, may be the same who are rude, mean, and uncaring to others in our lives.  And we as individuals are no different.  I've been harsh at times with how I now view some of the art and literature that most informed and changed me. I look at simple failings of the creator and then cast out the emotions I felt and growth I had with it. At least I did for awhile.  I can't do that anymore.  I am looking back at what saved me, what helped me, and I'm turning into the skid. The threshold to throw it out of my life has increased and is still in flux. All I know at this time, is there I certain things I love that I'm spending more time with again. There are artist

  I’m done apologizing for the things I love and the things I believe in. I’m just done with apologetic discourse.   I say this not from a place of pride but of conviction. There are things I humbly love: and I don’t want to invite shame by feeling the need to defend them. I just want to talk about why they matter to me. There are places for debate. Times for persuasion. But once a week I want to set the challenges down. I want to embrace and celebrate joy if even for a moment. So once a week (every Thursday is the goal)  I’m trying to share some joy.  I hope it shares that. Because. Tell me what you love, what inspires you, and I’ll know fifty times more than you telling me what you hate. Get to know me that much better.

  I think we’re failing at ministering. It’s for two     simple reasons. One we can’t manufacture relationships of depth. Two we’re afraid to admit we can’t give the help that’s really needed and just sit with people. The good news is we can address this. And working on one will help the other. I want to first say this. It’s hard to track and determine effectiveness of our ministering without resorting to numbers. And numbers will lead to performative actions and less determinative ones.  With that out of the way let’s focus on really doing this. Actually ministering to people. Ministration without connection is just pandering. And connection takes time to develop. Let’s be real for a second; even if someone genuinely wants to help you there is a barrier without a relationship. Now in a congregation there are often legitimate desires to help and aid each other. But in a culture where service to others is correlated to personal salvation it can come across as more than a little self ser

After conference weekend I’ve got a mixed bag of emotions. But I see myself coming down in the same place. I’m still a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I don’t see that changing either.  As someone with a bit of nuance in this space I’ve heard it from people on both sides. Why do I stay in the church? I’ve always told people it’s for the sacrament. I’ve told people it’s because I’ve had spiritual experiences that I can’t deny. And all of that is true. But it’s more. A little bit at least. The Book of Mormon means a lot to me. As a book of scripture it really helped clarify and focus my belief in Christ and his divinity. Without it I don’t think I would hold onto Christ as much as I do spiritually; especially in regards to the atonement and resurrection. Yes there is plenty in the Bible I draw upon. But there is something more, deeper, and different when it comes to the Book of Mormon. If I had to pick a single passage of scripture that’s saved me over and over

I grapple with where I am. I do not understand how so many people have such surety over all of their decisions. Especially when it comes to faith. This isn't meant to be a critique. No this being approached from a place of envy as a doubting Thomas. And that cuts two ways. Doubting what I learn and doubting myself.  I'm of the opinion that we have to analyze all sides. We need to gain as much information as possible, determine what's credible and analyze it. We also need to be humble enough to admit when we can't determine credibility or have the ability to properly evaluate what we're learning. We also have to be open to changing our minds.  This works so well in academic, research, clinical, or scientific environments. It's also a place where I've spent a lot of time and study to develop the skills to do it more effectively.  The problem is that doesn’t work with spirtuality and faith. At least not for me.  I’ve tried the apologetics games. Really really d

I had a realization today. Someone talked about how in youth they could do anything and fall asleep, wake up and not hurt the next day. Everyone agreed. I haven’t really been able to sleep since by teens. And at least half my mornings have hurt since I was 8 years old.  I guess that’s not normal. Not typical.  You're not meant to exist in pain without trauma or disease. So that means if you're existing with pain you're existing with trauma or disease.  I think sometimes those of us that are dealing with these chronic issues lose sight of that. We get so used to the fatigue, the discomfort, the grin and bear it we don't realize how abnormal that can be.  So to those of you struggling, you're seen. I mean it. And we need to realize sometimes that we're not normal. 

Saturday is a start for another conference weekend. I'm going to give it the due I can. This time I'm hoping to get some clarity.  For about two years now I've been hanging on to church by taking the sacrament when I can. I'm just struggling to be connected to the body of the church like I used too.  Physical struggles, literal debilitation sinking in, mental health strain, have all worked to make daily life difficult. Participation in most spheres of my life is more difficult. It's the meaning of disability. But I'd be giving short shrift if I didn't acknowledge other aspects. The church's policies on LGBT issues , abuse reporting policies have also given real pause. They are struggles I'm still actively addressing.  I try to reconcile my experience with scripture. With more modern teachings and sometimes I'm successful and sometimes I'm not. I have faith. I have spiritual experiences that have shaped me. But I would be lying if I said the