Minstering

 I think we’re failing at ministering. It’s for two  simple reasons. One we can’t manufacture relationships of depth. Two we’re afraid to admit we can’t give the help that’s really needed and just sit with people. The good news is we can address this. And working on one will help the other.

I want to first say this. It’s hard to track and determine effectiveness of our ministering without resorting to numbers. And numbers will lead to performative actions and less determinative ones. 

With that out of the way let’s focus on really doing this. Actually ministering to people.

Ministration without connection is just pandering. And connection takes time to develop. Let’s be real for a second; even if someone genuinely wants to help you there is a barrier without a relationship. Now in a congregation there are often legitimate desires to help and aid each other. But in a culture where service to others is correlated to personal salvation it can come across as more than a little self serving. And for good reason. If you’re geographically assigned to someone to serve you’re probably not the person they’re turning to for help on a regular basis. Think about it. For some people their core group is their friends at church. But for people who you only see at church and events and on Sundays, they more than likely have other help and connections. And they often have problems you can’t  imagine. 

That leads to point number two. We’re not equipped to fix complex problems as laypeople in the church. And even our leadership isn’t often able to. Complex traumas, addictions, physical difficulties, career struggles, etc all are things out of our control to fix. And if we don’t know someone we won’t know what they’re experiencing or how the best way to help them is. Too often we ask “what can I do to help” when we’re unable to render what the person needs. That’s not a fault. That’s just the reality.

So if we’re not the person’s person, and we’re not equipped to help, what can we do? Genuinely, over a long period of time, slowly get to know someone. Yeah. It’s that simple and that hard. 

There are barriers to this. It takes a lot more time. It doesn’t feel as rewarding. And it may not “fix” anything.” But that’s ok. Because in the longterm we’ll learn to focus on the people we’re serving and less on how service makes us feel for rendering it. 

When we realize that a family has two working parents we’ll often see that some of the invitations to play groups or other activities may not work for their schedule. We may only be able to see them on Sundays and activities. So a relationship will take longer to develop and require more intentionality. 

When we don’t see someone every Sunday, do we immediately assume a crisis of faith. Or do we maybe see a crushing work schedule, a health problem. Or other factors that contribute to difficulty attending church.

Do we make church a place where people can ask questions. Where people can hold diverse political views. Where people can be different. But supported. 

Do realize not everyone will be healed through faith. Some of the longest most arduous acute and chronic medical conditions won’t be healed. Do we hold support for that. Or do we tell the story of that blessing that did heal someone.

I worry we’ve lost the human interaction side of church. Maybe we can listen more. Realize how long it can take to make a real connection. Realize not everyone will have that connection. And realize we can’t help everyone. We can’t fix it all. But we can bear the burden and stand with them.

I’m writing this mostly to myself. To do better. To sit with the least of these more often. 

I can do that. A lot more. And not just during my day job anymore.