A Sunday Talk

I gave a talk this Sunday. Here's the outline, it's pretty close to how it was delivered. It's all stuff that means a lot to me. So I hope it's something I can share with you. I wrote about my mission and how hard it was to do that for two years. All of the struggles I had as a missionary. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in a lot of ways. It was something I still compare other trials to. Even the military is compared to my mission in my mind. It was a formative experience. This is pretty long but I really hope if you've read anything I've written you'd read this.

My name is Witter Case. I'm married to my wife Emma, and we're the happy parents of the four boisterous children typically situated towards the back of the overflow. We've been living in the ward for about two years. Having moved back to the area after an enlistment in the army. This is the ward I grew up in, even though boundaries and stakes have changed. It's been good to be home and be going to school. And I'm up here on the stand today because of a text from Bro Howell. And I'm ok with it.

I love the changing of the fall season. It's that time where we grab our hoodies, we drink our apple cider, and we watch the beautiful leaves change. It's football and hockey season. Rugby world cup. And it's also conference time. I love general conference. I do. It's a highlight of the year for me. So it's been good to go back through my notes of this conference, and read the talks in print and reflect on them for a while. I hope this random collection of notes makes sense for you as it has for me. I also hope and pray that the spirit can be with us as I press forward.

I can't look at conference and the teachings of the apostles, prophet, general authorities without examining the questions and troubles I have in my life at the time we meet as a body of saints. Starting on my mission I really took the time to try to apply conference to myself, to seek the answers of the questions and trials I was facing. It's become a semiannual ritual I look forward to. I'm afraid that the preparation and seeking I did leading up to conference has colored the talk. Certain themes and threads stuck out to me and it's those impressions I'm going to share with you today.

Throughout the conference the thing that struck me most was that we can grow through and overcome our trials. That was readily apparent through several of the talks of the conference and was commonly discussed throughout Sunday's afternoon session.

After speaking about Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail, and Job Pres. Henry B. Eyring said, "Greater holiness will not come simply by asking for it. It will come by doing what is needed for God to change us." and later, "Whatever our personal circumstance, wherever we may be on the covenant path home, may our prayers for greater holiness be answered. I know that as our petition is granted, our happiness will increase. It may come slowly, but it will come. I have that assurance from a loving Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ."

The pursuit of greater happiness is not always an easy one. But it is possible through repentance. That's the entire point of the atonement. This wondrous enabling gift that allows us to repent and change. It allows us the ability to not only overcome sin, but our weaknesses, frailties, and even trials.

It's amazing how much of a thread that idea of the atonement was. It's the constant motivation and solution to the majority of the challenges we face. It truly struck me how much we rely on the sacrifice of our savior during Elder Ballard's talk.

""That thought brings me comfort and the assurance that I will be with Barbara again. Although she physically suffered toward the end of her life, her spirit was strong, noble, and pure. She had prepared herself in all things so that when the day comes, she can stand before “the pleasing bar of God,” full of confidence and peaceful assurance. But here I am, in two days 91 years old, and I’m still wondering, “Am I ready? Am I doing everything I need to do to be able to hold her hand once again?”

The most simple, basic certainty of life is this: We are all going to die. Whether we die old or young, easy or hard, wealthy or indigent, beloved or lonely, nobody escapes death.

A few years ago, President Gordon B. Hinckley said something that is particularly meaningful about this: “How sweet is the assurance, how comforting is the peace that come from the knowledge that if we marry right and live right, our relationship will continue, notwithstanding the certainty of death and the passage of time.”

I certainly married right. Of that there can be no doubt. But that isn’t enough, according to President Hinckley. I also have to live right.""

That struck me really hard. We all need to live right. I don't know about all of you but there are plenty of times where I have failed to live up to my end of the bargain. I have needed the support of the atonement. I have relied on that help.

I remember as young missionary arriving at the MTC a week after conference. I was scared, I was worried, I was unsure. I knew about the atonement. I had a testimony of Christ. But I didn't know if I was good enough, if I was ready. I continued on to the mission field in Mesa Arizona. Grabbed a bike and went to work. Those feelings of inadequacy never faded. I began getting migraines on a fairly regular occurrence, shutting down the work we were doing. Eventually my health was reviewed. I was informed by my mission president about 6 months into my mission that I could not continue. That my name was presented at a mission
president conference to members of the quourum of the 12. I had recieved a new mission call. One that would have me flying across the country in two days to the Lansing Michigan mission.

That was a jarring transition. I left what had become known for something unknown. The change in climate resolved most of my migraines. But the feelings of doubt and uncertainty continued. I wondered if I belonged in my new mission. If I was doing the wrong thing and being punished. All of those doubts, fears, and anxieties continued through my mission. Thankfully two sets of wonderful mission presidents, their wives, and some concerned companions and members were there for me. I was given more in depth mental health care. And I was able to complete my mission. I was able to slowly feel my Heavenly Father's love for me more completely. I was able to feel my Savior's love for me, and the atonement in my life more clearly.

That process was mirrored in a talk this conference by Elder Hans T. Bloom. He spoke about a gong brought across the Atlantic for a single performance.

"Sometimes we might feel that we are, like that gong, good enough only to play a minor part in the performance. But let me tell you that your sound is making all the difference.

We need all instruments. Some of us learn easily and do very well in school, while others have artistic talents. Some design and build things or nurse, protect, or teach others. We are all needed to bring color and meaning to this world.

To those who feel they do not have anything to contribute or believe that they are of no importance or consequence to anybody, to others who might feel they are on top of the world, and anybody in between, I would like to address this message."

That resonated with me so much. And he continued further on with how to feel like we can contribute.

"Some of us are wounded, but the first-aid kit of the Lord has bandages big enough to cover all of our wounds.

So it is that love, that perfect love that we also call charity or “the pure love of Christ,” which is needed in our homes where parents minister to their children and children to their parents. Through that love, hearts will be changed and desires born to do His will.

It is that love that is needed in our dealings with each other as children of our Heavenly Father and as members of His Church and that will enable us to include all the musical instruments in our orchestras so we will be able to perform gloriously with the angelic choirs of heaven when the Savior comes again.

It is that love, that light that needs to shine and brighten our surroundings as we go about our daily lives. People will notice the light and will be drawn to it. That is the kind of missionary work that will draw others to “come and see, come and help, and come and stay.” Please, when you have received your witness about this great work and our part in it, let us rejoice together with our beloved Prophet Joseph Smith, who declared, “For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it.”"

Now I'm not perfect at this. I can be better. But I know that the savior's love makes it possible. So even though I still doubt, wonder where I fit in. I'm happy to know that there is a place for me. There is a place for all of us. There is a place for us to feel happiness, to do find peace, all we have to do is try to do the right thing, and share the love we feel with others.

I'm so thankful for the gospel, for prophets, that have brought it to us. I'm thankful for scriptures. But I am most thankful for the atonement of Jesus Christ. His love and his sacrifice makes it all worth it for us, all possible. And what that means to me cannot be overstated.

I leave this with you, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

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