Drowning in the open

I know how hard it can be to be drowning in the open. 

That's what a lot of mental and emotional struggles feel like. 

There's an expression, "we may all be in the same storm, but we're not in the same boat." It comes to mind as I think about this. 

We all have adversity in life. And we're rightfully self focused throughout most of it. To a fault. That's not a bad thing. If we can't make it through life how do we carry our loved ones or our families through these adversities. We just don't see what others are going through. Oh we make assumptions don't we, but we have no clue. 

The only way to know what someone is truly experiencing, feeling, is not through observation. It's through communication. 

We miss so much if we only look and watch. One, we can't watch 24/7. We will miss things. Two, we carry biases into our analysis of our observations. 

Think about it. You may watch someone every day for 2 hours a day. See them do the same routine. You may think that you know them. 

But do we really know what's going on for the 22 hours we don't see them. Do we know what's going on in their thought process. 

For all we know they look like they are living the best life. They may be there playing basketball, or chess, or out for a run. And they may do it so often and so well that we assume that nothing is wrong. 

But we never know. Not if we exist on assumptions. The idea that we as humanity live our lives in "quiet desperation" as Thoreau stated rings so true to me. 

I've felt this so often in my life. Both physical and mental health sidelined, questioned, or ignored. Not acting like i was in enough pain. Having enough. Being needy. 

I'm not alone. So many struggle in those ways that we cannot see. But that’s not how life works. It’s not human nature. 

In our interactions we second guess or downplay the challenges are facing everyday. We evaluate and judge. We determine who to interact and how with these processes. We have to. But we need to do so properly and morally. When our judgement overrides our charity we've fallen. 

Empathy and understanding should be prevalent and in the forefront in these analyses. We need to remember and keep in mind the struggles ourselves and our loved ones play close to their chest. The private struggles no one sees. The effort, the pain, the trials.

We're all treading water, swimming, fighting the storm. Some float like a cork. Some sink like lead. How hard we swim to survive the storm. Only we will know. 

We need to change. We need to hear. Listen more than we assume. If someone tells us what’s going on inside, we have to take that at face value. Someone make look at peace. But the turmoil may cut deep. And only they can express what’s occurring.

It’s crazy to me how we override that with our own experience. How quickly we dismiss what we’re told of someone’s emotions for what we’ve witnessed.

I think it’s apparent that we all have to balance our experience, our observation, and the conversations we have with others. What gets more weight needs to change. We can be humble enough to take someone at face value. If we do, we’ll all be better.